


say it if you choose (but i won't take too kindly to it)

by love_killed_the_superstar



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Gen, Grief/Mourning, Young Gems, set in the aftermath of rose's 'death'
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-27
Updated: 2019-08-27
Packaged: 2020-09-28 01:43:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,515
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20417813
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/love_killed_the_superstar/pseuds/love_killed_the_superstar
Summary: Amethyst buried her face into Garnet's hair, still clinging onto her hand. Into the safety of Garnet's hair, she mumbled, “I don't know what to say to Pearl.”“We have to tell her everything will be okay.”“She won't want to hear that.”“No,” agreed Garnet. “But we're going to try it anyway.”





	say it if you choose (but i won't take too kindly to it)

**Author's Note:**

> I don't have much to say about this, really. Was rewatching aspr and saw that flash at the end of the episode showing Garnet and Amethyst comforting Pearl while sitting on the warp pad, happened to be listening to the Cranberries (specifically 'Liar'), got super emotional. Needed to get this off my chest.

Greg had left the temple earlier, crying. In his arms, a son. As far as Garnet knew, he would be staying at the residence of one of his human friends for a while, until he was ready to 'take the next step'. What that next step was, Garnet couldn't predict, even as her eyes searched the horizons of possibility over and over again.

He could climb into his van and drive across state to stay with other humans he considered family. That was always a possibility. He could move in with the human, find love again with her, and they could become their own family unit, keeping enough distance from the gems that the son – Steven – could live a relatively human existence. There was even a future where all of them found a way to co-exist, they built a human structure around the temple, and all five – no, four of them – found a place in Steven's young life.

As it stood, Garnet wasn't sure if a day like that would ever come. Especially knowing how the crystal gems were hurting.

Staring out at the sunset, she realised this would be the first Earth sunset without Rose in the world. The thought was jarring. Sure, she'd had nine months to get used to the notion that someday Rose wouldn't exist, but the reality was nothing short of terrifying. Their brave leader, their dear friend, their protector – she'd disappeared from the world in a puff of light, leaving a human baby behind, and with him, the rest of them. Amethyst wouldn't know what to do, she hadn't known a day without Rose since they'd found her at the kindergarten, and Pearl...

Garnet had no idea what would happen next in regard to Pearl.

She'd been walking. At first she'd walked alongside Greg, until he'd arrived at the house. He'd given her a grateful, teary nod goodbye, before taking Steven inside and shutting the door. From there, Garnet had resolved to head straight back to comfort Amethyst and Pearl, but somehow her legs had led her further down town, then back onto the beach, and now she was waist deep in the ocean beneath the pier where the smell of the rotting wood and seaweed was overpowering, anchoring her to Beach City, reminding her that this was an evening without Rose, the first night without Rose. And now she was going to have to deal with it.

She started to wade through the water towards the temple with some difficulty. As a gem water was no different to the atmosphere of any other planet, even though it was considerably heavier; but right now she felt impossibly weighed down. If she had a choice to not return, would she still be walking back to the temple right now? Would she take responsibility if she thought Pearl and Amethyst would be able to cope with losing Rose on their own? It was an ugly thought, one that Garnet wasn't proud of, but it would be so much easier to come to terms with the reality of losing Rose if she didn't have to go back to the temple. If she could just spend a while away, with herself, or even some time unfused to give Ruby and Sapphire breathing room to work out their own complicated feelings on the matter... it would be easier knowing she wouldn't have to put on a brave front for the sake of the others.

Because now she was going to have to step up, wasn't she? Their leader was gone. Now the only one ready to take on that responsibility was her, and only because a small, sapphire-sized part of herself reinforced that Amethyst and Pearl weren't stable enough.

Amethyst was sat at the base of the warp pad, not quite on it, looking desperately for some way to deal with what had come to be that evening. When she laid eyes on Garnet, standing just outside of the mouth of the cave, she scrambled over to her on all fours, climbing up to sit on top of her hair.

“Amethyst,” Garnet acknowledged. She reached up to pet her hair, but Amethyst took Garnet's hand instead, squeezing it tightly.

“I keep thinking she's coming back any second now,” Amethyst said in a tiny voice. Garnet nodded.

“Me too. But she isn't.”

“Yeah.”

Amethyst's voice was small, her words almost ripped away by a sudden strong gust of salt air. Garnet felt powerless all of a sudden, and her legs buckled a little as the wind hit, something that normally wouldn't sway her in the slightest. She started to come away, slowly, before two voices spoke in unison.

_We're here. You're here._

“Life's going to be hard for a while now,” Garnet said resolutely. “We've all depended on Rose too much, I think. Getting used to not having her around will be tough.”

Amethyst buried her face into Garnet's hair, still clinging onto her hand. Into the safety of Garnet's hair, she mumbled, “I don't know what to say to Pearl.”

Garnet sucked in a breath. Truthfully, that made two of them. She knew if Ruby lost Sapphire the way Pearl lost Rose, no amount of soothing words would help console her.

“We have to tell her everything will be okay.”

“She won't want to hear that.”

“No,” agreed Garnet. “But we're going to try it anyway.”

Garnet stepped into the cave, listening out to the familiar dripping of cold water running down the cave walls, the slight crunch of cold sand beneath her feet.

Pearl was sat on the edge of the warp pad, hunched over. Her hands were buried in her hands, and as they approached Garnet could hear her large gasps of breath, see how her body shook with each gulp of air.

“Pearl,” Garnet said quietly. She received no response.

“Pearl, don't cry,” pleaded Amethyst.

At that, Pearl let out a wail.

Garnet knelt down in front of her, so they were at eye level. She reached up, took Pearl's hands in her own. They were soaked with tears that leaked steadily from her eyes, which stared past Garnet, at the stretch of ocean behind her instead, sore from crying. The pain on her face panged in Garnet's gems, and she held on tighter.

“It's hard right now, but you'll heal with time. We all will.”

“I don't want to be here without her,” she whispered.

“We're still here, Pearl.”

“But you're not _her!_ What – what am I, what am I without her? What am I supposed to do now she's gone?!”

Her crying was a painful misery to watch, to feel, and Garnet wasn't sure if anything she or Amethyst could do would help. But still, she let go of Pearl's hands, gently resting them on her knees, and reached up to pick Amethyst off of her head and set her down on the left side of Pearl. Amethyst hesitantly rested her hand against the small of Pearl's back, and Pearl automatically leaned a little towards her touch, still sobbing too hard to speak. Garnet parked herself down on Pearl's other side and did the same, stroking her back and feeling her body shake with grief.

“She said it would be easy to let go,” Amethyst mumbled, and Garnet looked over to see her mopping at her own eyes with the ends of her unruly mane. “But I want her back already.”

“She never should have said that,” Garnet said sternly. “Learning to live without her is going to be one of the hardest things we've faced yet. We can't pretend it'll be a simple process.”

“She's such a liar,” whispered Pearl, knotting her fingers together as she sniffled. “Pretending like we can keep going without her...!”

Amethyst rested her chin against Pearl's arm and looked up at her, wide eyes and desperate.

“Don't give up on us, P,” she pleaded.

Pearl looked stricken. Even her tears seemed to still as she stared down at Amethyst's frightened face. Sniffing hard, she reached to Amethyst's spare hand, winding their fingers together instead.

“I won't,” she said softly.

Garnet wished she could believe her. She spoke anyway.

“We're the crystal gems. We've already survived so much, and we can survive this too.”

She knew that her words wouldn't reach Pearl completely. Maybe she even thought it was foolish of Garnet to expect to live past an event like this, but Garnet could see into the futures. There _were _futures where they didn't survive it. Pearl laying in self-inflicted pieces on the floor. Amethyst shattered by a corrupted gem, without the protection from Rose's shield. Ruby or Sapphire left without the other, howling to the skies in despair. Of course it was possible that their family would grow ever smaller. But there was a chance it could grow bigger too, and the possibility of that was enough to convince Garnet that they had something to keep going for.

Pearl ducked her head, a fresh round of tears taking over, and they watched as the sun slipped below the horizon and out of sight.

**Author's Note:**

> This isn't one of my best, but I needed to get it out of my system.


End file.
